I have been a single mom since my daughter was 3 months old. I found out about her father's drug and alcohol problem a few months into our relationship. He said he wanted help to get better and I did everything I could to help. Things didn't get better, it got worse.
By the time I had enough, I found out that I was 4 months pregnant. I didn't want my child to grow up without a father to I sucked it up and did the best that I could. We got evicted from our apartment when I was 8 months pregnant. My parents helped us get a place here in Cape Coral. Things got better for a little bit. My daughter was born and things started getting bad again. He got back into drugs and alcohol. I left my daughter with him for 2 hours, came home to find him high on something and strangers in my home with my daughter screaming her head of In the next room. I packed up everything he had and kicked him out. Changed the locks and started trying to put my life back in order. AMHH has helped me so much in the time that I've been a member. There is such support and love within the group. It doesn't matter what you need or say, the members are always there to help as much as they can. I've been able to share things with the group that I don't even feel comfortable sharing with ny own family. There is no judgements, just love and support. I'm so thankful and grateful for this amazing group of ladies...my extended family.
1 Comment
In my world, when it rains…. it pours. Everything feels so overwhelming at times. When I’m down I just want to stay there. When I need the most motivation I just can’t seem to find it in myself. While I want to believe everything will be okay in some pseudo ending, I know I will probably continue to spin around in circles until otherwise noted. This was NOT supposed to be my life. I made a wrong turn a long time ago. I am drowning in consequences, not all of my own. When do I get to come up for air?
I am a good person. I would cut off my left arm if you needed it. Give someone the shirt off my back. I buy the person behind me in the Dunkin line breakfast at least once a week. I am kind to those who are not kind to me. I am judged everyday by people who know me and people who don’t. I know all about coming from the ground up. When I tell people “my story”, most are shocked. I didn’t have the picture perfect childhood growing up. But I didn’t let that stop me. Though it would have been easy to do, I refused to become a victim of circumstance. My children are my world. They are the sun to my shine. I meet their every want and need, and me alone. While I wouldn’t have it any other way, let’s face it; it’s a huge responsibility. I do daily what most 2 parent families have trouble doing. While I have perfected it over the years, it’s still enough work for two parents. Financially over the years, things have been tough. I worked hard to obtain a degree while working full time and being the sole care giver to a newborn and rambunctious two year old. Easy? No. Worth it? You bet. These days financial concerns are not at the top of my list, due to the sacrifices I made to obtain my degree. There are few moments I actually feel at peace. The calm…. I like to refer to it as. Most days I feel like I am stuck on a merry go round with no off switch. I am constantly on the go. There are always at least 5 more things that needed to be done each day that I didn’t have time to get to. I had a moment of calm this morning, and it was probably the best 60 seconds I have experienced in weeks. For a whole moment I felt like everything was going to be okay. I didn’t have 5,000 things running through my head and I stopped caring long enough to savor it. For that moment, I had no doubt in my mind that these next few years will not have anything that I can’t handle by myself. In the calm…. I felt ready, for all 3 of us. It’s not easy juggling what I have on my plate. Quite often not even those who would understand are kind. Life has no compass, no plan. Just like most little girls I imagined myself as a beautiful princess, tiara and all, being swept away by prince charming, riding off on a white horse into the sunset, and living happily ever after. I got my fairy tale, except mine came with 2 prince charming’s who call me Mommy. Tonight we celebrated Random Acts of Kindness week with our kiddos. First stop was the fire station to drop off some goodies. Second stop was Target & Publix to hand out Valentine's. Our children were touched to make others smile. Sometimes it really is the little things.
Me and my ex husband got married when I was 20, 9 months later had a baby girl who was a miracle since the drs told me I would never be able to have kids. But after we prayed 4 kids later it was truly a blessing . But over the 6 years we were married he hit me and abused me physically and mentally and emotionally bad. He had 3 kids during our marriage also.
I finally decided I couldn't stay just for the kids cause as they grow up it wouldnt be healthy for them to live in a unhappy and unstable house with both parents rather than a happy home with just mom. My kids haven't seen their dad in over 4 years he calls once every three months. My oldest daughter who is 10 has been realizing alot and been very sad. Talking to the school counselor crying drawing pics of how she feels .. Which by the way is very heartbreaking.. I have been taking care of my kids physically financially and emotionally by myself for over 5 years its hard at times but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I work 6 days a week and sometimes have to sacrifice time with my kids to make money to make sure we have what we need ... Maybe this story will enspire some. God deff takes care of us..my blessings It’s a label no one ever dreams of wearing: SINGLE MOM. It’s a life-taking, heart breaking, havoc-wrecking, poverty-threatening, want to scream at the top of your lungs, wish you could make the world understand kind of reality for many moms. How can you possibly help you wonder? One of the easiest and most helpful ways to contribute to local single moms is through our bare necessities program.The bare necessities program provides moms with items typically used in the home daily that they simply cannot due without. The tube of toothpaste you donate is the reason a little boy goes to school and has the confidence to smile. A bottle of donated shampoo was used by a single mother to wash her daughter’s hair at bath time, instead of it being rinsed with just water, leaving it oily and dirty. The deodorant was used directly by a single mom. She had an interview today and thanks to the generosity of donators she had the skills and professional appearance that landed her a new job opportunity that is going to benefit her family greatly!! The donated laundry detergent was used to wash all the families clothing. Not having to purchase the item meant that the single mother could afford another package of meat for a dinner meal this week and everyone would still have clean clothing. The box of donated tissues is used to wipe the nose of a little one with a cold as well as the single mother's eyes at the end of the night as she cries happy tears knowing she made it through another day. Picking up an extra item or two here and there while you are at the store doesn’t hit the pocketbook to hard. However, the items donated mean the world to a single mother and her family. Sometimes it truly is the little things. Thank you in advance for all you do as we help these moms throughout their journey, you are appreciated!
I've never wanted my children to be labeled as one of "those kids", you know the kids of a single mom who constantly struggles. They are amazing kids, who in my eyes deserve the world and I never want to place them in the lime light with all the stigma. Sure we struggle, but who doesn't? We struggle together, as a family, just the 3 of us, often in silence. The love and compassion that my children have developed over the years is amazing for their ages, I attribute a lot of it to our struggles.
|